The worst tournament ever!! By Super Saiyan Gnome

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 24

*Frog vs Earl*


Frog: Oh ho ho! After I plunder your village and have my way with your wife, I will leave your corpse to rot in the sun as an homage to the mighty Thor!

Earl: I'm not married, and you aren't a viking.

Frog: Gyar. I suggest ye hold your tongue, or Davey Jones's Locker ye be seein'.

Earl: You're not a pirate, either.

Frog: You murdered my parents in cold blood. You shall come to fear my name. I am the vengence. I am the night. I AM

Earl: YOU AREN'T BATMAN!!

Frog: Well then brainiac, if I'm not any of those, what exactly am I?

Earl: You're a samurai who has just tasted defeat at my hands. The only honorable thing to do is kill yourself and save your village the humiliation of a defeated return.

Frog: You are wise beyond your years, Earlsan. *Frog stabs himself in the gut*

*Winner: Earl*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 25

*Zero vs Edgar Figaro*


Zero: With my sabre of justice I will put a stop to the misdoings of mavericks everywhere.

Edgar: That is so ****ing hot. What's your name pretty lady?

Zero: People call me Zero, but I like to call myself The Angelic Death. And I'm a guy.

Edgar: Yeah...sure you are. Hey, you show me your wings and I'll show you mine, how you like them apples?

Zero: Step aside, human. I have buisness to take care of.

Edgar: I like your boob lights. ^_^

Zero: *sigh* For the last time, I'm a guy. Now move before I cut you down.

Edgar: Denying your own gender just to shoot me down. I've been rejected before, but that's just low. Prepare to die! *uses Drill*

Zero: Urg I am dead! *falls apart*

Edgar: Nobody denies their sexuality to avoid the great King of Figaro! > _ > < _ < Hehe. *pulls down pants* What the...holy crap it's a guy!

Zero: I told you so.

Edgar: But...I killed you.

Zero: Capcom.

Edgar: Oh.

Zero: Die, foolish human!

Edgar: Wait! First rule of robotics says that robots can't kill humans. So now you just have to stand here and wait for me to hack you apart with my Chainsaw Tool.

*about 15 seconds later*

Zero: Well, are you gonna do it or not?

Edgar: Hang on, my bar still hasn't filled up from last time I attacked.

Zero: Huh?

Edgar: Square-Enix.

Zero: Oh.

Edgar: Take this! *puts on hockey mask and attacks with Chainsaw* *MISS* Aww. Son of a *****. Hang on. Stand there just a little longer so I can attack again. I won't miss this time, I promise.

Zero: Nah. I'm gone. Cya. *Walks away*

Edgar: Wait a sec! This battle hasn't ended! Don't leave me here, I can't move until the bar is full! Aww come on! *sigh* Dammit.

Ultros: Hey there. Uncle Ulty's hungry!

Edgar: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Winner: Zero*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 26

*Mega Man vs Mega Man X* *Strange, considering I made the matches at random*


Mega: I'm so happy! I love you! I love everything!

X: Uh...you are a guy, right? You sound like an 8 year old girl.

Mega: I know! That's just the happiness in my heart and butterflies in my brain!

X: That doesn't make much sense, but whatever you say. We gonna fight now?

Mega: Fight? Why would I want to fight? I want to love! I WANT TO DANCE!! *Does Top Spin*

X: *Blasts Mega's head off with a charge shot, then riddles the corpse with Homing Torpedoes, a few Spark Shots, and just for the hell of it, a Rolling Shield* Why did I do that? Was there a better way? Nobody had to die today. I don't want to kill anyone, but isn't that my destiny? There must be some way to rid the world of evil without anybody perishing. Who am I? What is my purpose? How am I any better than what I oppose?

Mega: *Uses E Tank*

X: I'm so confused. All I want is peace, but I must bring it along using war as my means.

Mega: *Uses Time Stopper* X! Why would you try to kill me? All I wanted was a friend, but no. You had to go and flip out on me? I hate you X! Prepare to die! *click* What? Oh, come on. Why would that moron Light give me a time stopper if I can't use any weapons when time is stopped? Arg. *punches X, Mega takes damage* ...Light, when I'm done here, you're next. *Time Stopper runs out*

X: You little bastard. You caught me monologuing. I can assure you, that won't happen again. *Throws Boomerang Cutter*

Mega: Eek! *Throws Rolling Cutter*

X: Hmm...*Uses Fire Wave*

Mega: Not gonna happen! *Counters with Atomic Fire, then attacks with Spark Shot*

X: Tricky little runt. *Counters with Electric Spark*

Mega: Oh yeah? Take this! *Puts up Skull Barrier and blocks Electric Spark*

X: A barrier? You actually use those things? What a loser!

Mega: Oh that's it. *Puts up Leaf Shield*

X: *laughs hysterically*

Mega: *Throws Leaf Shield*

X: *doink* Ah! What the hell??

Mega: DUST CRUSHER!! *pummels X* CENTAUR FLASH! *flashes X*

X: That's just gross.

Mega: WATER WAVE!! *splashes X* CHARGE KICK! *slides into X, but takes damage anyway*

X: Honestly, could your moves get any crappier? Where's the Metal Blades? The Elec Beams? Hell, where's the HADOUKEN!!! *Mega falls into little pieces*

Mega: Not...****ing...fair. *shuts down*

X: Why did I do that? Was it really necessary to kill him again? I'm sure I could have tried talking with him to work out our differences. Why-

Vile: SHUT UP ALREADY! NOBODY CARES!

X:

*Winner: X*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 27

*Roy vs Lloyd Irving*


*Pious Agustus comes in and banishes both of them to the gap between dimensions because they suck butt.*

*Winner: Pious*


(Don't flame me people, I didn't write it. ;_;)

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 28

*Toe Jam vs Erk*


Toe: Yo yo yo what is up Edawg?

Erk: Uh...just the usual...why?

Toe: J dub, G. J dub.

Erk: (Man, this guy's more annoying than Serra. I'll have to put an end to this quickly.) *Casts fire*

Toe: *whap* Ah! What the hizzell was dat? I'ma knock you up fo dat, sukka. *Puts on jet skates and rockets at Erk*

Erk: Heh. *Erk jumps out of the way. Toe Jam goes flying off a cliff.*

Toe: Man, **** that. *Resets. Flies off cliff again.* What the hell??

Erk: Autosave after every turn. Looks like I win. ^_^

Toe: Maaaan. This is some bull****. *splat*

*Winner: Erk*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 29

*Mewt vs Baraka*


Mewt: I WANT MY MOMMY!!

Baraka: BLARGHLEPHOPPER!!! *slashes off Mewt's head*

*Winner: Baraka*

I ****ing hate Mewt.

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 30

*Ramirez vs Sub Zero*


Ramirez: Today I avenge my commander. You will feel my pain.

Sub Zero: Heh. The Lin Kuei feels nothing except the crack of our victim's bones in our hands.

Ramirez: Die. *uses Silver Eclipse on Sub Zero* FATALITY!

Ramirez: That was pathetic. Will I ever find an opponent that's worth my time?

Sub Zero: Beg for mercy as you are chilled to the bone! *Deep Freeze*

Ramirez: But...how? How can you be alive?

Sub Zero: I work for Midway. They don't need to explain how we come back.

Ramirez: Oh really. Well then...*ice explodes*

Sub Zero: o_O

Ramirez: I'll just have to destroy Midway, now won't I? Zelos! Destroy! *Zelos blows up Midway's HQ* Now you'll stay dead! Prepare for your end!

*Suddenly Johnny Cage runs in and punches Ramirez in the nuts then decapitates Sub Zero 3 times*

*Winner: Johnny Cage*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 31

*Rock Howard vs Olaf the Stout*


Rock: Do not underestimate the power of the flaming tower.

Olaf: I like donuts.

Rock: That's "do not", not "donut".

Olaf: Do you have donuts?

Rock: What? No. Why do you care?

Olaf: I want donuts!! *smashes shield over Rock's head*

*Terry bursts onto the scene*

Terry: Ah you ok?

Rock: I think so. Tha-BUSTAAA WOOOLF!!! *Rock explodes. Terry gives Olaf a donut and runs away*

Olaf: Hooray! *munch*

*Winner: Olaf the Stout*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 32

*Scorpion vs Donkey Kong*


Scorpion: *stares*

DK: *blinks*

Scorpion: Welcome!

DK: ...

Scorpion: To HELL!!! *fire flares up*

DK: OK!

Scorpion: The hunger of the dead will consume your flesh and leave your bones to rot!

DK: COOL!

Scorpion: Get over here! *Throws spear*

DK: OK!

Tiny Kong: Donkey Kong! Look at me! Look at me! Look at MMMMEEEEE!! *Tiny jumps right in front of DK and takes the spear to the face*

DK: O_O......>_<...Ò_Ó

Scorpion: This is bad, isn't it?

DK: YEAH! *headbutts Scorpion into the ground and winds up*

Scorpion: You may have won this time, but I'll be back. I always come back.

DK: COOL! *punches Scorpion's head off*

*Winner: DK*


And so ends Round 1.

[The Utility Man]

And here's the lineup/recap for the spectacular Round 2, brought to you by THE WONDER CHEF!!


There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Albert Wesker unloaded a clip into K. Rool's face while the Kremling King was enjoying a nice snack of Diddy.

De Loco couldn't heal his wounds as Yoshi advances Meteora style.

Angry Sun roasted Funky Kong in a battle that never had a chance to get under way.

Shadow's suicide run gives Little Mac the victory over a giant Tails.

Vigoro? Absorbed. Knuckles? Absorbed. Dark Man? Absorbed. Proto Man advances with a whole lot of new weaponry at his disposal.

KOS-MOS may not be well liked in these parts, but her sheer power was enough to get past the creepy naked guy in Naked Raiden.

In a bizarre turn of events, Super Saiyan Gnome (hey, that's me!) moves on due to both Sonic and Magus indirectly killing each other.

Zelda never stood a chance as Pikachu blew her to pieces before she could respond.


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Due to the inclusion of the pause button, Hard Man was able to out jump and therefore outlast Kain Highwind.

Gilder, or rather The Claudia, made short work of Galcian and proved once again that in a head on collision between man and air ship, the man usually loses.

Mr. X!!!!! makes a dramatic entrence and obliterates the DQV Hero with his ball and chain mech.

CATS couldn't withstand the powers of the Poke Ball, but Ash couldn't withstand the powers of Zig crushing his face. Luigi cruises to an easy and satisfying victory here.

There’s too many of them! I can’t hold them off much longer, Captain! (calls forth the power of the sun and roasts all enemies) (wakes up) Aww, crap. Geno couldn’t hold them off, as an army of Jigglypuffs rages forth to victory.

CONTROL TO SOCKET 4!! Just about sums this match up. Florina overpowers Psycho Mantis with a lance to the face.

Billy ran. Colette didn’t. The winner? The flock of zombie crows, of course.

It’s the match everyone was waiting for. It was really freaking long. An epic battle took place, and it wasn’t for the faint at heart. It spanned across 3 worlds starting with a dash through the Mushroom Kingdom which leads to a secluded town in a forest and finally concluded on the mean streets of Liberty City. There were 11 fatalities confirmed, but only one mattered. Leon S. Kennedy was able to outlast Mario and advance to round 2.

[The Utility Man]

If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Samus takes this battle with ease, as Meta Knight forgets that you can’t eat a giant ball of pure explosive energy.

Iggy Koopa was able to blast apart Crono thanks to interfere-AYAYALALAEYALAYAELEAYALA!!!

After a pointlessly long battle with far too much dialogue, Dr. Robotnik advanced by smashing Captain Olimar with his wrecking ball.

Falco’s insane falling speed is his downfall yet again as he dives off a cliff securing Auron’s victory.

Wait a second…Link talks?? Apparently he does, and we’ll be seeing more of him to come, much to the dismay of Earthworm Jim.

Who would emerge victorious between Mileena and Slippy Toad? CHOMP! Pac Man surprises all and leaves with a victory.

Vyse uses his keen pirate wit to easily dispatch of a potentially dangerous foe in Vulcan Raven.

Earl uses Frog’s sheer stupidity to easily dispatch of Ye Olde virate baturai.


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Horny king or he-she robot? Zero advances thanks to some help from Uncle Ulty and turn based combat.

This match had the potential to be ugly, and it was. Mega Man X killed the classic Mega Man not once, but twice in this slugfest of crappy moves.

To take an exact quote from the Roy vs Lloyd Irving match: Pious Agustus comes in and banishes both of them to the gap between dimensions because they suck butt.

Erk gets a victory over Toe Jam due to a misused pair of rocket shoes and the autosave feature.

Baraka cut off Mewt’s head. We all won that battle.

Being the Ramirez fanboy I am, it seemed obvious that he would soundly defeat Sub Zero. Little did anybody know that the real victor lied in the one, the only, Johnny Cage!

Olaf the Stout got to enjoy a work free victory as well as a donut. Terry Bogard got to enjoy a complete mopping of Rock Howard. Rock got to enjoy a BUSTAAA WOOOLF to the face.

Victory seemed certain for Scorpion until Tiny Kong jumped into his spear. After that it was all Donkey Kong. Scorpion’s still looking for his head somewhere in the Netherrealm.

[The Utility Man]

ROUND 2!

There are too many Sonic characters in this division

Albert Wesker vs Yoshi
Angry Sun vs Little Mac
Proto Man vs KOS-MOS
Super Saiyan Gnome vs Pikachu


I assure you, at least 7 of these guys will die

Hard Man vs Gilder
Mr. X!!!!! vs Luigi
An army of Jigglypuffs vs Florina
Billy Coen vs Leon Kennedy


If Mr. T was in the contest, he’d beat all of these guys

Samus vs Iggy Koopa
Dr. Robotnik vs Auron
Link vs Pac Man
Vyse vs Earl


These guys are why the snubs got snubbed

Zero vs Mega Man X
Pious Agustus vs Erk
Baraka vs Johnny Cage
Olaf the Stout vs Donkey Kong


I will be starting Round 2 tomorrow.

[The Utility Man]

Now..........Round 2!

MATCH 33

*Albert Wesker vs Yoshi*


Yoshi: YOSHI!!!

Wesker: *sigh* must I be subjected to face off against another pitiful reptile?

*Yoshi eats Wesker and poops him out in an egg then taunts. Rumbling is heard, and suddenly, a legion of Yoshis appears on the hillside.*

Wesker: *breaks out* You wretched beast! I'll send you back to the stone age in crates!

*The rumbling grows stronger*

Wesker: *glances at the hillside* ...very well. I'll just have to take you all out. *runs to a mansion and the Yoshis follow. Wesker slams the door shut with all the Yoshis trapped inside the mansion* Hmm...we shall see how you deal with a little something I like to call the T-Virus. *smirk*

Strange voice: UUAAAAGHHHH!! RUUUUUN!!

*Wesker sees Chris and company running from what appears to be zombie dogs*

Chris: Quick! In that mansion!

Wesker: Chris! Don't open...that...door!

*Chris opens the door and all the Yoshis come barreling out*

Chris: UUAAAAGHHHH!! RUN AGAIN!!

Barry: No way. This isn't anything me and my friend can take care of. *Pats gun*

Jill: All I brought with me was a hunting knife and a beret. What ever will I use to defend myself?

Barry: Here. This can of fizz is sure to mellow and yellow those things.

Jill: Barry, you ****ing moron, I don't have a grenade launcher.

*Meanwhile*

Forrest: I ****ING HATE CROWS!! *YOSHI ASSPLANT!*

Barry: You were almost a Jill sandwich.

Jill: ...Barry, that wasn't even close to me.

Barry: *Pats gun*

Richard: Wait, why am I here? Why was Forrest here? Where is here? Why do I have this strange feeling of dread? *out of nowhere a giant snake eats Richard, a giant shark eats the snake, and a pink Yoshi eats the shark. The Yoshi then bursts into flames and a 767 crash lands on it*

Wesker: >_> <_< CHRISTHISWAY!

Chris: ...Huh?

Wesker: Sorry. I felt...compeled to say that. *YOSHI EAT* CHRIS!! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!! I was supposed to kill you in a super slow, overly dramatic fashion! *YOSHI EGG ROLL* ****ing dinosaur. *"dies"*

Kenneth: Hmm...*throws mine at Yoshi mob* *A Yoshi rain ensues* Score one for the black man!

Barry: *Pats gun-gun goes off*

Jill: What the hell was that?!

Barry: I think I just shot Kenny in the face!

*Wesker calmly gets up and saunters off*

Jill: Hey...where'd Wesker go?

Barry: Did you check the can of fizz? I'm sure you, the master of unlocking, could manage to find him if he were to crawl inside.

Jill: Barry...I hate you.

Barry: *Pats gun*

*Winners: Jill and Barry*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 34

*Angry Sun vs Little Mac*


Little Mac: >_> <_<...>_>

Angry Sun: I AM THE ANGRY SUN! GRAHRL!!

Little Mac: Doc, how do I beat him?

Doc: Join the Nintendo Fun Cl*Mac uppercuts Doc in the face*

Angry Sun: RARRGH!

*Suddenly Angry Moon comes down and eats Angry Sun*

Angry Moon: 3 days...*flies away*

Little Mac: o_O

*Winner: Little Mac*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 35

*Proto Man vs KOS-MOS*


*whistle*

Proto Man: Hahaha. 3 powers for doing nothing. It doesn't get any better than that.

KOS-MOS: o_o Hello.

Proto Man: Just got better.

KOS-MOS: o_o

Proto Man: So what do you say we spin some gears, hmm? *equips box crotch*

KOS-MOS: o_o *aims rocket launcher*

Proto Man: So I guess that's a no?

*suddenly Naked Raiden emerges from the debris and pounces on KOS-MOS*

Raiden: I love you, killer robot lady!

KOS-MOS: o_o

*This next scene is far too graphic, so I leave you with the crazy escapades of Magical Trevor. His tricks are ever so clever.*
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor/

KOS-MOS: o_O *head explodes*

Proto Man: Dude, you're naked.

Raiden: I know.

Proto Man: And you just-

Raiden: Yeah.

Proto Man: With a robot.

Raiden: I do that sometimes.

Proto Man: That's really gross, man.

Raiden: Well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta *CLAW FIST!*

*Raiden's body drops to the floor.*

PROTO MAN GETS
NUDITY!
AND
The Jug Factor!

Proto Man: I'm not sure I want to have these powers...

*Winner: Proto Man*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 36

*Super Saiyan Gnome vs Pikachu*


Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu! Pika!

Super Saiyan Gnome: What's that? How can I be in my own contest? I'm the author, silly! I do what I want!

Pikachu: PIKA!! *lightning bolts crash all over the place*

Super Saiyan Gnome: o_O Er...I have to...help...the fridge...tie it's shoe...*runs away*

*Suddenly Marth bursts onto the scene*

Marth: Komochu. Makianiee.

Pikachu: ??

Marth: Makianiee.

Pikachu: ...CHU!! *Pikachu Thunder Waves the crap out of Marth, paralyzing him. Pikachu slowly pushes Marth off a cliff that just appeared.*

*Winner: Pikachu*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 37

*Hard Man vs Gilder*


Gilder: Well crew, shall we pillage, raid, or try to score with some village ladies today?

Crew: RAID! PILLAGE! SCORE!

*strange noise*

Gilder: All 3? Sounds good *strange noise gets louder* to me...did any of you hear that?

Crew: RAID! PILLAGE! SCORE!

*strange noise is still getting louder*

Gilder: *looks around* What the hell is that? *looks up* Oh ****.

Hard Man: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *smashes Gilder and crashes through The Claudia sending the entire crew to their deaths*

Gyro Man: *flies by Hard Man* See? Isn't this fun?

Hard Man: I should have listened to Wily. I should have just stayed in my room and waited for Rock to find me.

Gyro Man: Chill out, man. Why are you so scared?

Hard Man: I can't fly, you moron!

Gyro Man: Oh! Er...gotta run! *leaves*

Hard Man: *ground approaches* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

*meanwhile*

Mega Man: *inside Hard Man's lair* Isn't there supposed to be some robot master that I fight now? I couldn't have already beaten him, I haven't warped back to the lab yet. *strange noise* Hmm? What was that? *strange noise gets louder* >_> What the...*looks up* Aww crap!

Hard Man: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! *smashes into Mega Man*

*Winner: Hard Man*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 38

*Mr. X!!!!! vs Luigi*


*Luigi and Mr. X!!!!! stare each other down fiercely. In this battle of SSG favorites, who will emerge the victor? Either way, it's sure to both upset and please Gnome.*

Luigi: I'ma Luigi! Number 1!

Mr. X!!!!!: Fool! I will take over the world! *strange noise* Hmm? *looks up*

Gilder: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mr. X!!!!!: Meep! *Jumps into wrecking ball machine for safety. Gilder splats on the ground* Well, that was unexpected. *The Claudia falls on the wrecking ball machine. An absolute crap load of explosions ensue.*

Luigi: Yippie! *walks away*

*Winner: Luigi*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 39

*An army of Jigglypuffs vs Florina*


Jigglypuff: Puff! Jigglypuff!

Florina: Aww. Aren't you cute? *another Jigglypuff walks over*

Other Jigglypuff: Jiggly! Jigglypuff! Puff!

Florina: Ooo. There's more of you. You're all so cuddly!

*more Jigglypuffs appear*

Jigglypuffs: Puff! Jiggly! Jigglypuff puff!

Florina: >_> *getting worried* Hehe. How many of you are there?

*yet more Jigglypuffs appear*

Florina: >_> <_< Meep.

*Still more Jigglypuffs appear. They're coming down from tree tops, over hills, and through the sky. There are Jigglypuffs lined up right to the horizon*

Jigglypuffs: JIGGLYPUFF! PUFF! PUFF! JIGGLY! JIGGLYPUFF!!!

*POUND! ROLLOUT! SLEEP! POUND! SING! ROLLOUT!*

*The mauling continues until nightfall, when the Jigglypuffs leave as suddenly as they appeared*

*Winner: An army of Jigglypuffs*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 40

*Billy Coen vs Leon Kennedy*


*Billy emerges from the forest exhausted. He finally managed to lose those damn crows. He looks up to see an equally exhausted man gazing at what used to be a city. Something took place here. Something big. Billy walks over.*

Billy: T-Virus?

Leon: Plumber. Hey, how do you know about the T-Virus?

Billy: I won't go into detail now, but I will say that you should never trust a guy who wears a dress and is obsessed with leeches. I'm starving. Do you know if any restaurants survived through this?

Leon: I don't know. You should go explore. I'll stay here and plot how to kill you so I can advance to the next round.

Billy: Hmm? I wasn't listening. Eh, never mind. I'm gonna go look for food. *leaves*

Leon: *to himself* He knows about the T-Virus. I don't want to hurt him, but I can't take the risk of Umbrella being reorganized...

*meanwhile*

Billy: Man, I'm stuffed. That ogre was quite filling. *As he heads back to where Leon is, he notices what appears to be a small boy in a purple pirate costume. He appears to be sneaking up on Leon, and he has a knife!* Crap!

Salazar: Time to die, Mr. Kennedy!

Leon: EEK!!

Billy: MOTHER LOVE!!

Salazar: Huh? *thwack*

Leon: Thanks, buddy! *Hugs Billy and hits him in the back with something hard*

Billy: ...did you just plant a mine on me?

Leon: Uh...no. ^_^ *walks away*

Billy: *Reaches behind him and grabs a mine* ...dammit. *BOOMSPLAT*

*Winner: Leon*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 41

*Samus vs Iggy Koopa*


Iggy: NIMBLE! NIMBLE LIKE A BUTTERFLY ON A SUNNY CHRISTMAS TOASTER!

Samus: *fires missle*

Iggy: *evades* BOOOOOM! MY SCANNER LIKES FIRETRUCKS! *suddenly a sword falls from the sky and hits Iggy in the face*

Samus: ...

*Meta Knight hops off his star*

Samus: *raises arm canon*

Meta Knight: *raises...arm canon?*

Samus: ??

Meta Knight: *fires*

*Samus gets vaporized*

Apparently it is possible to eat a ball of pure destructive energy. Who woulda guessed?

*Winner: Meta Knight*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 42

*Dr. Robotnick vs Auron*


*Robotnick hops in saucer*

Auron: Heh. No mere machine can defeat me. I will be more than a match for you.

Dr. Robotnick: Don't underestimate the power of machin*fires laser*

Auron: *patiently waiting Robotnick to finish his dialogue* o_O *thwack* ****ing cheater!

*Winner: Dr. Robotnick*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 43

*Link vs Pac Man*


*it appears the fight has already started*

Pac Man: *runs by* WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!

Link: *runs by in boxers* I'll kill you!!

*Pac Man runs around a corner. Link follows shortly after, but Pac Man is nowhere to be found*

Link: Excuse me familiar looking yellow circle with a bow, have you seen another yellow circle run by here recently?

*Familiar looking yellow circle with a bow points in the opposite direction*

Link: Thanks! *Takes off* Wait a minute...*turns around*

Pac Man: *takes off bow* WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA! *runs away*

Link: Oooooooooo!!!

*cue Benny Hill music*

*Pac Man runs by camera with Link on his tail*

*Link runs by camera with Power Pellet Pac Man closely following him*

*Pac Man runs by camera with Link firing arrows at him*

*Link runs by camera as Ganon stamps the land flat behind him*

*Pac Man runs by camera as the four ghosts pursue*

*Pac Man and Link collide*

Link: I have you now!

Pac Man: >_> <_< *CHOMP* WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!! *runs away*

Link: *now naked* >_<...V_V...;_;

Ganon: OOPS! *trips and falls over...right on Link*

*Winner: Pac Man*

[The Utility Man]

MARTH 44

*Vyse vs Earl*


Vyse: >_>

Earl: <_<

Vyse: HAAAAAAA!

Earl: <_<

Vyse: OOUUAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Earl: What are you doing?

Vyse: Focusing. HHHNNNNNNNNNNNGG!

Earl: *blinks* *pants fall*

Vyse: That should be enough. This'll be odd without the others, but I think I can manage.

Earl: ...huh?

Vyse: We call forth...the power...of the Ancients! Prophecy!!

Angry Moon: 3 days...o_O What the? Hey! Put me down you little runt! What? No! NO! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Earl: O_O

*Winner: Vyse*

[The Utility Man]

MATCH 45

*Zero vs Mega Man X*


X: Hello, Zero.

Zero: Hello, X.

*make out session*

X: Why did I do that? I'm a robot. I shouldn't have feelings. Is this wrong? Wrong to be attracted to another robot?

Edgar: You totally ARE a chick! Oh man!

Zero: grr...

Ultros: Come back to Uncle Ulty!!

Edgar: meep! *runs away*

Zero: You're supposed to be dead! *chases Edgar*

X: I can't get attracted to Zero. What happens if I get attached to him and he goes Maverick? I would probably have to kill him then. Why do I kill? Isn't there a peaceful solution?

Ultros: ...you talk too much.

X: Hmm? Oh...hello, talking squid. If you're a squid, how can you talk? Do squids have voice boxes?

Ultros: >_< grr...

X: Shouldn't you be in the water? Squids are aquatic animals, how are you on land? Are you a robot too? Why are you purple? *SMASH*

Ultros: Moron. *walks away*

*Winner: Ultros, apparently*